I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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