Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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