Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
