i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize