Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
