If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
