Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
