You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
