Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize