How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
