if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
