it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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