just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
