what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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