you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
