i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
