I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
