i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
