Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
