Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
