My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
