the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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