P.S. I can't hear my feet
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
