No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
