Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
