It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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