I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Randomize
