I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
