So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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