chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
