i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
