Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
