just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
