He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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