Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
