I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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