kristin has been a bad kristin
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
