Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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