he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
