I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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