So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
