this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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