Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
