I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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