So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
