My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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