I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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