i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You left your underwear on the fireplace
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I am one with the molecules
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
