What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
