Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
