I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
