I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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