did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
