If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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