I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
