i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
