so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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