Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
